Houston Astros

Welcome to jockr’s 2009 Team Sales Report, where we will offer fans consultative outreach and analysis of the comprehensive, results-based solutions they can expect from each franchise this upcoming quarter. Today’s entry focuses on the Houston Astros.

2008 year-end market position: 86-75 3rd place, NL Central

New Hires: LHP Mike Hampton (free agent from Braves), RHP Jeff Fulchino (waiver claim from Royals), C Lou Palmisano (Rule 5 selection from Brewers, via Orioles), LHP Gilbert De La Vara (Rule 5 selection from Royals), OF Jason Michaels (free agent from Pirates), INF Aaron Boone (free agent from Nationals), C Toby Hall (minor league free agent from White Sox), RHP Jose Capellan (minor league free agent from Royals).

Layoffs: INF Mark Loretta (free agent, signed with Dodgers), C Brad Ausmus (free agent, signed with Dodgers), LHP Randy Wolf (free agent, signed with Dodgers), INF/OF Ty Wigginton (non-tendered, signed with Orioles)

Best Practices: If you would’ve asked me five minutes ago how I thought the Astros did in 2008, I would have told you they were at least 10 games below .500. So you can imagine my surprise when I looked and saw that they actually finished 11 games above .500! The reason that I am so shocked is because the Astros are not a team I like to think about. I don’t like to think about the Astros because I like to think that Houston doesn’t exist. But it does exist, and the Astros are sort of good because 1B Lance Berkman is an elite-level superstar. Here are some quick facts about our boy Lance. Did you know that over his 10-year career, dude has a line of .302/.413/.560? Did you know that he averages 34 homers and 114 RBI per 162 games? Did you know that he would be a hall of fame candidate if he played in a city that actually exists? Here’s another reason why the Astros are good: Carlos Lee is almost as good. Over his 10-year career, he has a line of .290/.344/.505–note, i know these aren’t in the same league as Berkman, but they’re good–and averages 31 homers and 110 RBI. So there you have it, that’s why the Astros were good last year, because Berkman and Lee combined for 57 homers and 206 RBI (hmm…those numbers look like Matt Wieters’ rookie season. D’oh! I always spoil the ending!). I also think RF Hunter Pence is good. Dude is so awkward-looking and he came back to earth a bit last year, but I’m hoping that he’s closer to his gangbusters rookie year. While he might not hit .322, i still think he can be a 30 homer-100 RBI guy. That would make three for the Astros.

Pain Points: The Astros won last year in spite of their upper-level management. Remember last year when RHP Shawn Chacon got into a fight with GM Ed Wade? Well, putting him in a headlock might have been a bit extreme, but dude definitely isn’t good at what he does. They traded for LHP Randy Wolf in a clear over-estimation of how close they were to being competitive (though, to be fair, they were pretty competitive) and the trade for SS Miguel Tejada has been pretty disappointing, especially considering that since the trade he’s turned out to be three years older than he said he was, been in the Mitchell Report, and pleaded guilty to perjury in front of a grand jury. I love Miggy, so I hope he gets it all worked out, but jeez. Oh, another thing that’s terrible about the Astros is there farm system. I’ll let ESPN’s Keith Law take it from here:

30. Houston Astros: Houston’s farm system looks like General Sherman marched through it, then turned around and marched through it again just to be sure the job was done. The Astros’ 2007 draft class might turn out to be one of the worst in history: They had no picks in the first round (for Carlos Lee) or second round (for the now-retired Woody Williams), and they failed to sign either their third- or fourth-round pick (one of whom, Georgia Tech shortstop Derek Dietrich, looks like a sure top-50 pick for 2010). Two of the top six players they did sign were released in October, and their top signed pick, Colin Dellome, just posted a .305 OBP in high-A at age 22.

Their 2008 draft was better — not that it could have been worse — with two promising high school arms in Ross Seaton and Jordan Lyles and one solid catching prospect in Jason Castro. The organization’s decision to turn its back on Venezuela might reflect the nation’s political instability, but it also leaves the Astros among the least-advanced teams in international scouting. There are lean times ahead in Houston, and even a massive shift toward rebuilding won’t stop the oncoming drought.

Yikes. As for this year’s team, let’s just say they’re counting on LHP Mike Hampton to be their fourth starter.

Key Thought Leader: RHP Roy Oswalt. The skinny righthander has been remarkably consistent over his career, averaging 223 innings and 183 strikeouts over his career. But since he’s only 170 pounds, you have to worry about whether the workload will take a toll. He has looked fantastic in the World Baseball Classic, but those are just extra March innings added to his total for this season. He’s an amazing talent, though.

Enterprise Outlook: I don’t know what to say. Everything in me wants to say that they won’t be good this year. It doesn’t help that I’ve already convinced myself that they weren’t good last year and I refuse to believe otherwise, but still. Mike Hampton?! 5th place, NL Central

Tomorrow’s Target: Toronto Blue Jays