The offseason really is the best time to be an Orioles fan. Not only is the team not playing, but you get to have exciting things happen like Mitchell Reports, radio show appearances, sweet trades, and now, apparently, new uniforms!

That’s right, in a classic example of lipsticking a pig, the Orioles will sport new uniforms in 2009. Changes include “Baltimore” in script across the road jerseys, a maryland logo patch on the arm, and an updated, more ferocious oriole bird logo. The Baltimore-on-the-road-jersey movement is very popular among fans actually from Charm City, but since the fan base stretches to D.C., Northern Virginia, and parts of Pennsylvania, perhaps the Birds are alienating some of the few fans they have left by reminding everyone that they play in the town best known for crab cakes, Stringer Bell, and “Hairspray.”

But at least the new, chubbier bird will please ornithologists. For those of you Orioles fans hoping Matt Wieters comes in and dazzles as a rookie in 2009, take note:

Young male Baltimore Orioles do not achieve adult plumage until the fall of their second year.

As for the uniforms, it doesn’t matter what it says on the front, if it says D. Cabrera on the back, it’ll be a long 2009 in Balmer.